I read a recent article giving advice to guys on how to get a girl I n bed – often when first meeting. The essence of the story was to create the “boyfriend situation” where the girl feels comfortable and an intimate connection is made. The article recommended breaking the physical boundary by telling the girl to close her eyes and pretending to wipe something away from her eye. It also suggests to follow-up later on with pretending to wipe something off her cheek or, even better, her bottom lip. The article explains the bottom lip is an erogenous zone and by touching a woman’s bottom lip you are both breaking the physical barrier and providing subtle sexual stimulation.

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I agree to an extent. Touching someone’s lip is an intimate action and lips are an erogenous zone. I disagree this is good advice. I do agree breaking the physical barrier is an indication of attraction and interest, but doing so too early isn’t a good idea. I would most likely think a guy was creepy or violated my personal space if he touched my lips. This would most likely result in a TornadoDating.com blog post. Touching my cheek is less of an offense. There are other areas where premature touching is unsettling and this includes the sides of my waist, back of my head and high up on my rib cage. I doubt I captured it all, but I think you get the idea.

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A strong sense of attraction can actually be a negative. I know this sounds counter-intuitive, but in my experience I have made several mistakes because of strong chemistry and/or attraction. These mistakes include ignore or rationalizing red flags, getting intimate too soon, creating a false sense of security and believing all else will fall into place because it feels good. Seriously, I have ignored red flags even when it sounds like a bat cave going off in my head. (Most likely a contributing factor to my Tornado Dating.) Lust is very different from “like”. I would even argue lust has nothing to do with liking the person and more to do with pheromones and hormones.

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I have to agree. Avoiding a kiss is awkward for both people. If I really like the person as a friend, I might mention that all I am after is friendship and talk about it again. If not, and he continues to try for more.. I just won’t see him again. One arm hugs are also a good policy for guys you know are into you.. or just avoiding the hug all-together. Though sometimes all you can do is just walk away until they’ve had time to officially move on.

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A bat cave? Never heard that before, but I think I know what you mean. I dated a guy for about a year because our secual chemistry was so good but I knew deep down it wasn’t going to turn into a real relationship. We broke up as friends and I wonder if sex will ever be as good. I HOPE SO!

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